loving it to living it by Manvi Thareja

If Love could speak, it will ask to implement itself on your Soul first, so that you can truly understand the meaning of implementing it on others.

After leaping through an irksome period of 2020, we have arrived at the “Cupid” month of 2021. Though a lot has changed in the whole world between the previous “Love” month and the current one, one thing that happened very positive is that this tough period taught all of us how to FEEL the real power of LOVE, which can be in any form, viz, family love, siblings love, parents love, life partner’s love, pet love, self-love, etc.

In my opinion, the most important one is the SELF-LOVE, which if understood and realized rightly, can teach you the true meaning of other kinds of Love. Because if you don’t have the courage to love and respect yourself, then your love and respect towards others are worthless.

To love someone, or to get loved; to respect someone, or to get respect; to connect with someone, or to get connected; these all are later steps. The former steps should be Self-love and Self-respect.

Now, you might have noticed that I wrote the word ‘courage’ above. But why…?

Also Read – It’s Time to Fall in Love All Over Again by Abhrekha Jain Sahlot

Because it actually takes courage to realize the true meaning of Self-love. Some people confuse it with Ego, some with being Selfish, while some take it as Self-proud. But the truth is that Self-love means –

Prioritizing the need to understand what is right for you on all dimensions whether physically, mentally, and emotionally and then gently taking steps towards its fulfillment, while at the same time being kind and considerate to others as well.

When does the need of Self-Love arises…

  • When you feel that opinion of others gaining control over your decision-making capability.
  • When you feel that you are much codependent on others for everything.
  • When things are not going well inside your body and your body is calling for a disciplined and healthy routine.
  • When you feel deprived and empty from the inside even after having everything around you.
  • When you feel lonely even in the presence of thousands of supportive people.
  • When you feel a lack of concentration and stressed most of the time.


When you undergo some or all of the instances mentioned above, then, one day Universe itself will give you a calling to wake-up and realize that this is the time to give priority to yourself and to re-gain your lost inner power.

It is better to know yourself first than knowing the whole world.

How to start practicing Self-Love…

  1. The first and the foremost step towards Self-love is to understand yourself and your needs i.e. Self-awareness. For doing that, although you can take help from others too, like Counselors, Life coach, or someone in your entourage whom you can trust and whom you know can provide proper guidance. But in my opinion, the best person to guide you is YOU and your INTUITION.

When I spend time with myself, I get the best opportunity of Introspection and Self-healing.

Introspection is the best way to go deep inside to understand what you are lacking in your life and for what you should feel gratitude.

Also Read – Book Review – Kartikeya and his Battle with the Soul Stealer

These days over the Internet you can find multiple ways of doing Introspection, but based on my personal experience the best way for doing Introspection is spending some ‘Me’ time in Solitude.

Solitude is the best flight to take for going to Self Inner journey.

Sitting in silence and talking to your soul, can embark you on a whole new journey where you can analyze your inner Universe, that can actually change your whole perception towards your life. You will start thinking through different angles in every area.

Some of the other tools of doing Introspection are:

  • Meditation. This is one of the most powerful tools to go into the inner journey. More information on this can be easily found on the Internet and social media these days.
  • Talking or listening to Motivational Speakers or Spiritual gurus, mentors, etc. Sometimes listening and talking to others can awake the need of undergoing the self-awareness process. A truthful and trustful Guru (or mentor) can even guide you in dealing with your problems in a very structured way.
  • Undertaking Questionnaires having questions related to different spheres of your life. This will help you in clear-cut defining your areas of priority.

And so on…

  • Now once you gain a clear understanding of your needs, the next step is to devise and think of ways to achieve them and then finally implementing them. For instance –
  • Taking steps for your physical balance, like, joining a Gym or Yoga class, consulting a nutritionist or dietician, seeing advice from a Doctor for your health-related problems, etc.
  • Doing things that can balance your mental and emotional needs, like, pursuing your hobby, taking steps to resolve your matters with your loved ones which ultimately can give you much inner peace and satisfaction as chaos is one of the biggest reason for balancing your mental and emotional health, spending quality time with your loved ones by creating a balance between personal and professional life, exploring new places (my favourite one ;-P ), etc.

Barriers that people generally face while going on Self-awareness journey…

The biggest problem that has been seen among travelers of Self- inner journey is that they take much time in realizing their need of going on this journey. It might be because most of their life has been spent in an atmosphere filled with negative vibes and thus they don’t show courage in leaping towards positivity.

The next major problem that has been noticed among people who start their Self-love journey is that they start putting a lot of pressure on themselves in order to achieve the goals that they have laid down for themselves. Instead, we should never forget that this is a slow process and thus, we should remain kind and patient to ourselves. Allow yourself to gradually take steps while enjoying and welcoming lessons and blessings on the way. Be humble to yourself and never rush.

Sometimes people start seeking Perfectionism in everything that they do to achieve their goals. In pursuit of that, they easily start lacking interest and thus become inconsistent with their efforts, which potentially can lead to the danger of ending their self-awareness journey halfway. This could also be a result of misguidance or misleading suggestions from others.

In that case, never forget that this is YOUR journey, and your best guide on this path will be YOU and YOUR INTUITION.


In the end, I would like to re-iterate that always remember that if you can’t love and respect yourself, if you can’t be loyal and honest with yourself, then never expect the same from others. Additionally, if you lack the power to connect with your inner world then you’ll lack the energy to connect with the world out there.

The only person that can make you happy, can make you sad, can encourage you, can let you down, can guide you, can misguide you, can boost your morale, can demoralize you, and above all, who can connect you with Almighty, is…YOU !!!