remembering-the-last-hug

On 16th October, just four days after my b’day, we met for the final time. To be honest, I was really petrified to meet you for the final time in my life as you decided to not continue with our thing, partly because of my over-possessive and over-loving nature, and mainly because love was not for you in search of.

That white shirt I wore for our breakup moment, as hoping that you would memorize our first date, to make my ultimate efforts to bring you back into my life. I ordered a black coffee as I started this drink because of following your choices blindly, but more because out of unbroken love for you.

Without wasting any time, as we were not talking much, I started looking deep into your eyes to be blessed with your love that I prayed to still get back, but your discomfort impaired all my emotions like garbage into the dustbin. You, for the first time, started looking different to my eyes as you were carrying all the beauty you had, but not that innocence in your eyes for which I always yearned to be your companion of life. 

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Still, I keep in mind our last meet-up. Tears were all I was carrying the whole time in my eyes that you didn’t even notice. I knew no way to give up on you. Following the end of the café meet, I was walking down over the metro station with you when I grasped your hand tightly with mine.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

You did the best then by not stopping me. I knew, thereafter my hand holding your hand, your eyes were waiting for my eyes to try once more to stop you, but you were now all learned in walking without me. Trust me, I was one-hundred percent more in pieces than you ever were broken by your decision of breakup, but I did not stop you as my faith loses balance in walking with neatly expert moves of my dear one.   

That final walk when we were together for the last time, my hands holding yours, my eyes avoiding yours, my heartbeat beating as fast probably like yours, I asked eventually for the very last hug to accumulate all my memories and pains to pour out of my heart permanently.

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Every single bit of the hug I remember as it made me stronger and weaker at the same. That hug gave me no more the feel of your love, but I got the real reasons for this emotionally hectic breakup as post the hug you came closer to kiss my lips and I stopped you, much unexpectedly for my loved one as it was the first time when I took a stand to not consent to her. That ending to our relationship was not beautiful, but undoubtedly the best judgment by a blind lover of yours.

I discovered myself only when she left in the dark.      “Love entails the breath of both of the souls to reach the holiness, where the one lover breathe is not involved, it’s better to let them liberated and to not poison your spirit’s breath.”

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