Anguish and uncertainty ripped me apart, anger and inadequacy 

Writing bold lines in my mind. 

The depression that had stricken me was peeling off layers from my being

As I shed tear after tear, not knowing why or where from they came.

The ones dear to me could not understand this stranger I had become,

They only felt ripples of the searing dread that caused a chasm.

I screamed for help, but only my scream was heard,

The words lost in the expressions of terror, overwhelming the message.

Hands that reached out for a help that never came,

Gnawed in helplessness at a faceless visage.

Cowering in despair, I allowed myself to sink deeper 

Into the darkness of the quagmire the exhaustion was drawing me into. 

Little did I realize it was at the Feet of the One I had fallen —

The only one who could ever save me. 

Krishna, in His inimitable style, sat on a mound, tall and dignified,

The epitome of empathy.

A pleasing picture, seemingly unfazed, unexcited, unfettered 

By the traumatic drama played out at His Feet,

He only too well understood the beauty of the soul

Wrapped in the gloom-ridden shroud.

A million pieces was what His heart would rip into,

Every time the stream of tears began their laughter-riot.

Yet His calm was what gave me the strength to endure

The prodding that vexed me into extinguishment.

Then it happened, a moment of surrender, the relinquishment

Of ego, when, in deep, unbearable anguish, I clutched His Feet.

“Save me, please!”

Even as the words formed in my mind, I was transformed —

Blessings of flowery showers miracle the watery grave

Into a fertile placenta and the woeful shroud into a cocoon.

I was a larva, sprouting vibrant wings, emerging under His protective gaze

To claim my latent passion, a beautiful poetic encore. 

Thus revealed, the butterfly I was, fluttered on to His shoulder,

And as He played mesmerizing notes on His egoless instrument,

I swayed in the exhilaration of forgiveness Accepting that the struggle was only mine to emerge from.

(Written by Vidya Shankar)

This poem was first published in Storizen Magazine August 2019 Issue

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